domingo, 29 de julho de 2012

Not so great post...

I didn't want to stay this long without writing but the thing is I don't like to write here to complain and to be honest July hasn't treat me that great... I'm just really frustrated with my situation, I needed money to pay my college so I got a Summer job that is definitely not what I wanna do as a career and somehow I feel I'm walking backwards "wasting" time when I could have looked for something that had to do with me and it saddens me to think about it. I know it sounds terrible when so many people are in a really bad situation looking for jobs but I really cannot help :/

I also wonder what's going to happen after I graduate, I mean I'm almost 28 and I'm still in college (even though this is my second degree) but I feel old to start a new career, I feel insecure, I, again, feel frustrated. I see my friends who went back to Brazil and they are in such a better position than me that I wonder if I shouldn't have gone back too...

All I want is to succeed but I feel so stuck right now that it's kinda hard to see the light... I'm sorry for such a depressing post on a Monday but maybe one day I'll look back and understand why I had to go trough this...
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Eu não queria ficar tanto tempo sem escrever, mas o negocio é que eu não gosto de escrever aqui pra reclamar e para ser honesta Julho não me tratou tão bem... Estou realmente frustrada com a minha situação, eu precisava de dinheiro para pagar a faculdade entao eu arranjei um trabalho pro verao que definitivamente nao eh o que eu gostaria de fazer, e eu me sinto andando para tras e desperdicando o meu tempo quando eu poderia ter procurado por algo que tivesse mais a ver com o que eu quero fazer e tudo isso me entristece. Eu sei que soa terrível quando tantas pessoas em uma situação muito ruim à procura de emprego, mas eh tao dificil...:/

Eu sempre penso no que vai acontecer depois que eu me formar... eu tenho quase 28 anos e ainda estou na faculdade (mesmo essa sendo minha segunda), mas me sinto "velha" para começar uma nova carreira, me sinto insegura e frustrada. Eu vejo minhas amigas que voltaram para o Brasil e estão em uma posição melhor do que eu que e me pergunto se eu não deveria ter voltado também ...

Tudo o que eu quero é ter sucesso, mas eu me sinto tão sem caminho agora que é meio difícil ver a luz ... Me desculpe por esse post tao deprimente em uma Segunda-feira mas talvez um dia eu vou olhar para trás e entender por que eu tive que passar por isso...


quarta-feira, 4 de julho de 2012

The best two years...

My love,

I said this before and I'll say it again, I cannot imagine my life without you. So many of my good memories are with you. You know how to make me smile, you know how to make me laugh even when I'm furious.
You love my qualities and my imperfections, you are the one I look for for comfort and advice and even though we disagree all the time I still look for you and you still tell me exactly what you think.
You make me do things I never done before, you push my buttons and you let me push yours...
You do everything you can to make me happy, you are a kid, you are a teaser but you also have a huge heart.
I can't stand seeing you upset and if anyone tries to hurt you I'll turn into a lion.
You help me "kick the crab", you laugh when I "dance with myself", you give me "flat breads" and loves to talk to my bidu... we have the same humor and we don't care if other people don't get it.
I love saying you are my fiancee, I LOVE being your fiancee.

My baby, I wanna say thank you for being persistent. You were the one who kept saying we could do this, you were the one who didn't give up on me on my worst days.
Thank you for all the magical hugs and perfect kisses. Thank you for petting me every night so I can sleep better. Thank you for turning on the heat in the car on a summer night because I feel cold. Thank you for being responsible and provide for me when I can't. Thank you for your never-ending patience. Thank you for kissing me when I cry and saying that everything will work out. Thank you for looking for a place where we can cut our own Christmas Tree in the middle of the "forest" in New Hampshire so my family can have a truly Christmas experience. Thank you for saying "I love you" a hundred times a day. Thank you for loving my country, my culture and my food. Thank you for respecting my parents and my family. Thank you for loving my parents and my family.
Thank you for choosing me, thank you for being who you are.

I love you always and forever and I have never been this happy before.

Happy 2 year Anniversary my babe :)